Leaving Home

Today I left the house for the first time in – yes – ten days. It’s been a long way up from where I crashed down to after the CSNY concert, and there is a long way still to go.

Today’s outing wasn’t for long; Chimp drove and we went to WFM to get some groceries and then to the farmer’s market momentarily for fruit, then back home. I can feel it in my body – when I got home my left shoulder muscles felt spent from carrying my purse – but I can still sit up.

Several team members in Whole Foods said hello to me, as they are wont to do since I am so often there taking their stuff and giving them money for it. Most of them I didn’t even notice until they greeted me, being totally in my own little world of “Is this okay? Am I all right right now?” A few asked me how I was doing. It seems to be pretty apparent from looking at me that something is going on. I said “I’m doing okay” to a couple and told the blonde specialty guy that I was upright, and that was a victory today.

My days throwing 90-pound wheels of cheese around as a specialty person and hustling robustly around the store seem particularly far away right now.

Once we were back home, I could tell I’d made the right call in continuing to work from home. Just that little outing sapped me enough that it was clear driving thirty miles would have been a big mistake.

Just as I had been slowly increasing the amount of time I sat up and marking the change in how early in the day I was able to manage it, I’ve been working on getting back to making myself presentable. In the past couple weeks, there were some stretches of three days at a time there where I didn’t take a shower because I just didn’t have the energy.

Yesterday I got up, took a shower and did my hair, albeit that the hairstyle was a bit of an unambitious and halfhearted one. Today, I managed the shower, the same lackadaisical hairstyle, and got some makeup on too. I still haven’t gotten back to putting in my contacts in the morning. I don’t have prescription sunglasses, so when we went out this afternoon, I put my green vintage cat-eye sunglasses over my very-horizontal modern glasses. It’s a look, I’ll tell you.

I continue to take pictures of our CSA boxes. Perhaps tomorrow’s victory will be a box posting.

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