At the beginning of the week, I read in Business Week – which is where I get all my entertainment news – about 7-Eleven’s joint promotion with 20th Century Fox to hype the July 27 release of the Simpsons movie. They converted eleven stores across the country to Kwik-E-Marts over the weekend, complete with Buzz Cola, Krusty-O’s cereal, Squishees and Radioactive Man comic books (but no Lisa Simpson Brand Gazpacho: “It’s tomato soup served ice cold!”).
I scanned the list of stores: New York City; Chicago; Dallas; Denver; Burbank, Calif.; Los Angeles; Henderson, Nev.; Orlando, Fla.; Mountain View, Calif.; Seattle; and Bladensburg, Md.
Dammit – I mean D’oh! If I still lived in Virginia, Bladensburg would have been in easy reach. From Fresno, any of the three California conversions are at least a few hours away. I tuned in to Simpsons Kwik-E-Mart on Blogspot to console myself by checking out pictures from some of the convered stores.
Leave it to my beloved friend Mrs. Pinchloaf, who does still live in Virginia, and who is at least as much as a Simpsons nut as I am (the female half of the bridal party sat in her apartment and watched a couple episodes on DVD the day of her wedding while we ate our post-hairstyling meal) to spend the 4th of July in a Simpsonific way.
Sure, she and her husband could have gone to the Folklife Festival or watched the fireworks on the National Mall, both things I miss dearly about the 4th in D.C. (excepting the part where you troop into the Metro to ride home with thousands upon thousands of your closest, sweatiest, drunkest, sunburnest, dehydratedest friends), but both of those opportunities will be there next year. Instead, they went to the Kwik-E-Mart.